A mum has told how her former mother-in-law has threatened not only to sue her, but to file for custody of her daughter, if she doesn’t return the clothes she bought for her
Getting divorced is always tricky, but it is especially difficult when children are involved and exes need to remain co-parents.
And, to add to the stress of trying to remain civil with your ex for the sake of your kids, you’ve also got the added complications of the in-laws. Or, shall we say ex-in-laws?
Sadly, one mum has learned this the hard way, after divorcing her abusive ex back in 2017 – but oddly enough, it’s not her former husband who is the problem.
The mum says she and her ex have managed to forge a good co-parenting relationship, despite everything that happened in the past, and they now both share custody of their seven-year-old daughter, while also sharing resources, splitting the cost of clothes and toys.
“We have both agreed that as long as she has clothes and toys at both homes things can move between them – both homes have a one in one out policy so if she brings something from my ex’s house to to here, she takes something from here back to his and vice versa,” the mum explained on Mumsnet.
However, things recently took a turn when the mum’s former mother-in-law got in touch, ranting and asking for all the clothes she’d bought for her granddaughter back.
“She accused me of selling them to ‘profit from her son’ and told me if I don’t hand them all over she is taking me to the small claims court for reimbursement before taking me to the family courts for full custody,” the mum continued.
“I’ve replied saying that when my daughter grows out of clothes both me and my ex sell the old ones to replace with new things, I have no idea which clothes she bought for my daughter as things go between homes but if her wardrobe there was running short of things I could sort out a bag of clothes to send with my daughter next time she’s there to keep there.”
While it might seem like a reasonable offering, the mum-in-law clearly disagreed, and simply responded: “See you in court.”
The mum went on to say she genuinely doesn’t know which clothes were bought by her ex-mum-in-law, and reiterated that she didn’t care who bought what, so long as her daughter was clothed and had things to play with at her house, her ex’s house and while visiting her grandparents.
“I admit I sell old clothes on eBay or Facebook to get some money back to get replacements and I maybe sell them before my daughter grows out of them fully so I can replace with a bigger size but I’ve never tried to profit from the arrangement,” she continued. “My ex pays maintenance but his parents think it’s too much so that’s the only reason I can think she is behaving like this.”
Other mums were quick to respond to the post offering their advice on how to deal with the uncomfortable in-law situation, with one suggesting she should “just f***ing ignore her!”
“I would forward the message on to your ex and ask if he knows anything about it, let him deal with it. His response will let you know if he has got anything to do with it,” one mum suggested.
Another added: “I think I’d send something along the lines of, ‘mine and my ex’s setup of buying clothes and toys for our daughter is working really well for her and I feel like we have a good co-parenting relationship.
“If there’s clothes at your house that you want keeping there, then don’t send them to my house. But don’t try to disrupt our daughter’s routine and take me to court over some tops because it won’t benefit anyone, certainly not our child’.”